So today was yet another day in which God decided to stretch me and give me a glimpse of what He is calling me into.
I was searching through piles of linens for a full fitted sheet. It is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. So as I was sinking into the linens I got a call from charity and she asked if i could go with her to see someone at the hospital. It turned out someone who just recently started coming to church on sunday at the dream center tried to commit suicide today. He was at the emergency room and his mom was frantic. So charity stopped what we were doing to go and try to comfort her as much as we could while she waited to see what would happen to her son. He did not do anything as far as we know but he was very close to it. We stood there listening to his mother with tears rolling down her face as she began to tell us that she didn't know what to do he has been like this for awhile but this time it just got too close. He is 20 years old and lives in the house 14 other people doesn't have a job and just feels like he has nothing to live for.
We didn't get to see him becaus he was in the triage and we were not aloud to go in there. I just stood there as charity talked and comforted the mom. I just took it all in and was praying that God would show up not only for the son but also for the mother. We didn't get a chance to pray with her before we left because she went in to see her son and stayed in there to fill out paper work we told her to keep us updated if anything happens and if they were going to keep him for awhile or send him somewhere else. She was so surprised that the church would come out to see them.
We came back to the dream center and I picked up where I left off in the linen closet. But I will not forget what God allowed me to see. I pray that God will continue to bring the broken, hurting, lost, and sinful to us. I never want to get to busy with what I am doing and miss out on being used by God to reach His children. Never let me be the one speaking into the lives of those people, instead let it always be you through me, therefore I will not be concerned with what I am going to say.
I know that I cannot help others in defeating their battles when I cannot even fight for my own battles inside. I want to fight for myself, for THEM.
I am willing to be willing. Show me the things that I need to change in my life and let go so that I will never be in the way of being used by you.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
My day or God's day?
So I haven't posted in awhile....
God has opened my eyes to so many things lately. It is hard to explain in words but I have peace. I have not had peace in a long time but God has given me peace and I have finally excepted his gift. I finally can speak about my future without being anxious or worrisome of doing the wrong thing. I still don't know what He has for my future in detail but I don't even know what He has for me today.
I woke up yesterday just like any other day, but it was not like just any other day. I went to morning prayer and then instead of leaving as soon as it is over to see if i could get a quick nap in I stayed because a friend needed comfort. I left prayer and got ready for class quickly because i wanted to crame in some last minute studying for a test that turned out we didn't even take. He gave us an extension and will take next time. I was thankful. The rest of the time I had freedom to sit and take in what the teacher was talking about for both classes without beating myself up for not studying like i should have messing up on a test. After class I ran around to a couple different businesses to try to get some last minute money for our fundraiser and only sold 5. But when I got back I found out that one of my friends decided to buy 5 more from me so, it was a blessing. I then left got some lunch and then headed to the dream center for a day of painting, at least I thought. I got there and right when I got out of my truck charity walks out and asks if I am going on outreach with them and I told her I would have to ask. I called donna up real quick and she told me to go on outreach instead of painting. So I got on the shuttle with charity and the team from utah and left. We went and got some apples and bread from the warehouse to give out to an apartment complex. Most of the team went door to door handing them out while 3 of us stayed behind to bag them up for the team that was going out. As I was bagging apples one of the guys came back and told us that someone excepted Christ after getting apples and bread. The guy asked to recieve Christ in his heart so 2 guys on outreach led him in a prayer and he excepted God into his heart. How awesome is that! I have done alot of outreaches but not that often do get see actual fruit. God allowed us to see some fruit that they day though. Anyway on the way back to the dream center the lady from utah got a call from her daughter and found out that her daughter's husband's aunt died last night because her son shot her. Wow.. So her daughter needed money so they could go and be with the family. So then the lady needed to go to a bank to transfer money to her daughter's account. So I was asked to take her when we got back from outreach. We don't have the same banks as utah so we had find a cousin bank and the original directions got lost. I called the bank they found and just asked for the closest location did not know it was not a cousin until we got there. So they told us cousin bank and we started heading that direction by this time we were pushing for time because banks close at 5 and we are now in traffic. We got lost a couple of times and then finally got some concrete directions from my good friend angela. We made it to the bank on time then we had a new task at hand we needed to find a western union to transfer the money. Got stuck in traffic again but found one then headed back to the brdc. It only took us 2 hours for what we thought was only a 20 minute errand. It was all good though because we had fun with it and we accomplished the task in time and she blessed me with gas money. :) By the time I got back to the dream center it was 6:20 and everyone was gone and everything was locked up. So I left for home.
I said all of that because I started out thinking it was just going to be another day in school of ministry, but God had different plans for me.
1. Spent much needed quality time with friends
2. Was given grace and did not have take a test
3. Went on outreach and I love outreach
4. Got see fruit and God move on someone's heart
5. God allowed me to help someone in need
6. Got icecream with some roomates! :)
There is no telling what will happen when you totally release everything into God's hands especially your time.
God has opened my eyes to so many things lately. It is hard to explain in words but I have peace. I have not had peace in a long time but God has given me peace and I have finally excepted his gift. I finally can speak about my future without being anxious or worrisome of doing the wrong thing. I still don't know what He has for my future in detail but I don't even know what He has for me today.
I woke up yesterday just like any other day, but it was not like just any other day. I went to morning prayer and then instead of leaving as soon as it is over to see if i could get a quick nap in I stayed because a friend needed comfort. I left prayer and got ready for class quickly because i wanted to crame in some last minute studying for a test that turned out we didn't even take. He gave us an extension and will take next time. I was thankful. The rest of the time I had freedom to sit and take in what the teacher was talking about for both classes without beating myself up for not studying like i should have messing up on a test. After class I ran around to a couple different businesses to try to get some last minute money for our fundraiser and only sold 5. But when I got back I found out that one of my friends decided to buy 5 more from me so, it was a blessing. I then left got some lunch and then headed to the dream center for a day of painting, at least I thought. I got there and right when I got out of my truck charity walks out and asks if I am going on outreach with them and I told her I would have to ask. I called donna up real quick and she told me to go on outreach instead of painting. So I got on the shuttle with charity and the team from utah and left. We went and got some apples and bread from the warehouse to give out to an apartment complex. Most of the team went door to door handing them out while 3 of us stayed behind to bag them up for the team that was going out. As I was bagging apples one of the guys came back and told us that someone excepted Christ after getting apples and bread. The guy asked to recieve Christ in his heart so 2 guys on outreach led him in a prayer and he excepted God into his heart. How awesome is that! I have done alot of outreaches but not that often do get see actual fruit. God allowed us to see some fruit that they day though. Anyway on the way back to the dream center the lady from utah got a call from her daughter and found out that her daughter's husband's aunt died last night because her son shot her. Wow.. So her daughter needed money so they could go and be with the family. So then the lady needed to go to a bank to transfer money to her daughter's account. So I was asked to take her when we got back from outreach. We don't have the same banks as utah so we had find a cousin bank and the original directions got lost. I called the bank they found and just asked for the closest location did not know it was not a cousin until we got there. So they told us cousin bank and we started heading that direction by this time we were pushing for time because banks close at 5 and we are now in traffic. We got lost a couple of times and then finally got some concrete directions from my good friend angela. We made it to the bank on time then we had a new task at hand we needed to find a western union to transfer the money. Got stuck in traffic again but found one then headed back to the brdc. It only took us 2 hours for what we thought was only a 20 minute errand. It was all good though because we had fun with it and we accomplished the task in time and she blessed me with gas money. :) By the time I got back to the dream center it was 6:20 and everyone was gone and everything was locked up. So I left for home.
I said all of that because I started out thinking it was just going to be another day in school of ministry, but God had different plans for me.
1. Spent much needed quality time with friends
2. Was given grace and did not have take a test
3. Went on outreach and I love outreach
4. Got see fruit and God move on someone's heart
5. God allowed me to help someone in need
6. Got icecream with some roomates! :)
There is no telling what will happen when you totally release everything into God's hands especially your time.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Holiday Break
This holiday break has been quite the experience for me. I have learned alot about myself and what areas I need to grow in. It has been rough but worth going through. I know God is preparing me for his work and I keep learning from my mistakes. I know now that it is better to see my mistakes and to go on than to just continuely condemn myself for them. I will never move on if I am always looking back on the things I have done wrong. I have to push myself to see the mistake as an opportunity to grow and do better next time instead of another reason to try to prove God wrong in calling me to do anything for Him. God knows more than anyone else what He is doing and He knows me better than I know myself. So I'm going to strive to stop holding myself back from God's blessings and calling and just believe He can do it! Its not about me, its about Him who lives in me! I am just a willing vessel trying to be obedient to the will of God by dying to myself everyday.
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