Hard times...

Why do we make it so hard to trust in God? He proves Himself time and time again with one situation after another and yet we still find excuses not to trust that He will take care of us. It is hard to trust in Him fully but its even harder not to trust in Him fully. We are just blinded by logic and what the world says we should be doing with our lives that if we do anything other than that we are not being smart and its not going to work. I'm tired of being weak and not staying strong in what God has promised me and believing God will provide a way. I'm tired of having doubt in myself and what God can do through me. I'm tired of being pulled back into my old thinking habits. I'm tired of having joy torn away from what God has blessed me with..... my life! I want to be strong enough! I want to be bold enough! I want to walk in the authority God has placed in my life! I know God has given me all of those things, but why can't I except them? Why can't I use them? I'm tired of not excepting blessing because I don't feel I deserve them! If you are reading this... I'm o.k I just wanted to get some things out.